I set the phone back down and take several long, deep breaths. So, Nam-Il's finally come to his senses and decided to call me. Can't say I actually expected it to happen - I'd long ago given up hope that he was ever going to quit being a selfish bastard and actually work up enough guts to do it.

But he did. Somehow, he did. As much as I'd like to give him all the credit, I know he couldn't have realized it all by himself. Something must've happened to make him decided to call me. I don't know what, but do I really want to?

"Ji-Sung?" a voice calls to me. "Is everything okay?"

Yoo Sang-Chul is standing in the doorway to my kitchen, looking a bit concerned. I just nod and give him a weak smile. "Everything's fine."

"Who called?"

"It's...it's Nam-Il."

Recognition flickers in Sang-Chul's eyes as I say this. He knows about my brief - no, not relationship - whatever it was with Nam-Il. And he knows about the painful little details because he was the one I came crying to when it all fell apart.

"What did he say?"

"He apologized." I say, trying to act casual about. "Said he was sorry."

Sang-Chul snorted. "What took him so long?"

"I asked him the same thing." I sigh deeply. "Well, at least he's finally done it."

"And...what did you say to him?"

"I accepted the apology." I shrug my shoulders. "What else is there to do? It's about time we just put this behind us and move on..."

"Did you guys talk about...anything else?"

His eyes are inquiring me, asking the questions that his words doesn't carry. Did he ask you back? Did he tell you how he feels for you? Did you even think of going back to him? Did you tell him about me?

"No." I say, hoping he doesn't detect the way my voice trembles ever so slightly. "Nothing else to talk about."

Sang-Chul smiles and reaches for me, laying a gentle hand on my shoulder. "So...glad you finally got that one resolved, right?"

"Of course." I smile back at him, even though I distinctly feel that something is nagging at the back of my mind. Resolved? Is it, really?

We walk back into the living room of my apartment and he sits back on the couch, pulling me down with him. I rest my head on his broad shoulder and feel one of his arms go around me. Some old Japanese samurai movie is on television, age tinting the film grain a bit yellow.

We watch it in silence, the glow of the screen providing the light in my otherwise dimly-lit living room, as outside my apartment building the city of Kyoto continues into the night, traffic noises and the soft reflection of neon signs filtering through the windows.

Sang-Chul runs his fingers through my hair and I close my eyes, breathing deeply. This is what Nam-Il can't give me. This is what I need, what I want to have in a relationship. This comfort, this gentle caring from a man who's not afraid to show his feelings for me. I don't blame Nam-Il for being unable to do it - he is what he is, after all. Kim Nam-Il, the epitome of rebellious freedom, never going with the flow but always cutting his own path through everything. Maybe I threatened his freedom, and that's why things didn't work out. And do I regret it? I really shouldn't. I'm much better the way I am now.

With Sang-Chul, I'm happy. Like I told him, I've moved on. I'm happy.

So why does his face haunt me, still?

"Ji-Sung..." Sang-Chul's deep voice says gently. "Did you tell Nam-Il about us?"

"I only told him I've moved on - that I've found someone."

"But you didn't tell him it was me?"

I shake my head, rustling the fabric of his shirt.

"Why?"

"What's the point?" I say, a little uneasy. "Does he really need to know?"

"And if he finds out from someone else?"

"I don't care." I mutter. "I owe him nothing."

Sang-Chul leans down to kiss me on my forehead. "He's the one who owes something to you, Ji-Sung...and he didn't bother to pay it back until tonight."

I nod slowly. "So I can close the account now."

"You can do much better than him, Ji-Sung..." he whispers in my ear. "Much better."

"Of course I can..." I let my fingers toy with the buttons on his chest. "I found you, didn't I?"

Sang-Chul laughs softly, and I feel him shift as he looks at the watch on his left wrist. "Getting late. Maybe I'd better go."

I lift my head from his chest and look at him in the eyes. "When are you going back to Korea?"

"Not anytime soon. My contract with Kashiwa expired last week, but they still want me around - maybe to help motivate the team."

"Have you decided where to go?"

Sang-Chul shakes his head. "I've had several offers, but I'll have to talk to my agent first. Top of my priorities is the Asian Games now."

"Think they'll make you Captain by then?" I ask.

He smiles. "Maybe. Who knows?"

We get off the couch and I walk him to the door of my apartment, and along the way he bumps into several pieces of furniture - there's a lot of clutter and I'm horribly untidy with my stuff.

"You should get a bigger apartment." he grumbles. "Maybe a house."

I arch my eyebrows at him. "Seriously, do you know how much a house costs in Japan nowadays?"

"Hey, you're rich now, remember?"

I laugh and shake my head. "I'm pretty comfortable here. Just...need to clean up more often."

Sang-Chul narrows his eyes at me. "You kids are all the same."

"Really?" I thrust my chin at him defiantly. "I recall several nights ago you told me I was actually special."

Sang-Chul breaks into a grin and pulls me into an embrace, tussling my hair. "You are special, Ji-Sung. Trust me."

Sang-Chul walks out the door and I wave him off until he disappears at the end of my corridor, then I go back in and lock up.

-- I'm sorry for what I did. I was an idiot, I was an asshole. --

Damn right you were. And good on you to acknowledge that I don't have to forgive you, because there were times when I felt like I could never do it. You hurt me, even though all I wanted to do was help you. You turned me away because you were scared, as you've just admitted yourself.

-- You don't understand, Ji-Sung --

I understand well enough. I understand that you already knew how you were planning to go about your life, Nam-Il...and that I didn't figure anywhere in it.

I turn off the television and go into my bedroom, throwing myself onto the mattress. My nose picks up a trace of Sang-Chul's scent on the pillows and I smile to myself. I feel so comfortable with him. So safe. There is no roller-coaster ride of emotions like I had with Nam-Il. Sang-Chul gives me peace.

Peace and Kim Nam-Il, on the other hand, are two words that should not be mentioned in the same sentence.

So why was I ever with him in the first place? I'm still not sure to this day, and I don't think he knows either. Maybe it's because we were often paired together during training. Maybe it's because we got along well and had a lot in common. Maybe it's because we had fun together, given his easygoing attitude and his dry sense of humor. I'm not sure - not that it matters anymore now.

Ironically enough, the only time he ever actually showed how much he cared for me was right before everything started falling apart.

On to Part 3